10 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT ITALIAN WOMEN

Sitting in a backyard surrounded by 40 or so Italian women. It happens to me about once a month when the group of Italian ladies who live in LA meet for an evening of merriment, food – a lot of it – and alcohol. Oh, and good company. Not one to join groups easily, actually I do have an aversion to any gathering of more than six people, what started as a lark to practice my mother’s tongue on a regular basis,  has now  become an event I sort of look forward to. The gamut of participants runs from women in their 70’s to hipper 30 year olds, with pretty much everything in between: it’s somewhat of an insular crowd, with ties to the Consulate and strong roots “back home”.

Many of them seem to commute on a regular basis and at first it was hard for me to relate to most of them, what with my nomadic instincts, my cultural full immersion and the rejection of everything Italian I wasn’t too fond of – yes, there are facets to the bel paese  anyone would be willing and happy to reject. Someone asked me at our latest gathering if I knew of a good Catholic Church on the Westside and I had to swallow hard not spatter my margarita over her dress – after 15 years in LA I am not aware of a single Catholic Church, west or east side, and I just demurred, skipping over my churchgoing days ending over three decades ago. Another woman expressed such a bigoted opinion I had to remove myself from the table for fear of starting a not so pleasant debate. After all, we were celebrating one of the ladies going back to Italy for good, her stint at the Consulate over. And assholes are to be found in any culture.But as I was sitting around surveying the beautiful garden enveloped by the June gloom, I started to do a mental inventory of the traits common to most Italian women and, taking into account the two margaritas already in my belly which might have clouded my judgement somewhat, here is what I came up with:

1. Italian women might drink alcohol but do not get drunk. It would be unseemly and in poor taste and god forbid we might look foolish.

2. Italian women eat. A lot. Unlike their Los Angeleno counterparts who lunch on salads with dressing on the side and sip strictly unsweetened iced tea, we pile our plates, we go back for seconds and we never skip dessert. Somehow, there were no fat people in the room which brings me to number

3. Italian women do not drink sodas. It’s not served at parties because it would clash with the food anyway. And it makes you burp, another activity frowned upon.

4. Speaking of which, Italian women are absolutely convinced there is no better food than Italian. They will proclaim it to anyone who would listen, they will politely venture for ethnic on occasion and then pronounce their sentence: Italian food is just better.

5. Unlike French women, who need to be chic no matter the occasion, Italian women dress well, but they have to be comfortable and they skew towards the classics rather than the adventurous. When I went through my pirate phase I put a lot of friendships on the line but I mercifully got over it before it was too late.

6. Hair and make-up. Little makeup – too much is “clownesque” in their view and hair should be neat but not overcoiffed that’s toooo American. During my brief survey, I found that to be true of everyone present.

7. Italian women like to talk. Preferably loudly. Sometimes inappropriately.

8. Italian women cherish motherhood, even those who are not mothers themselves. I stood out as the proverbial sore thumb. But they do make good and caring mothers, I will have to admit to that. To a fault.

9. Italian women would never wish to be anything else other than Italian – but that goes for their male counterparts too.

10. Italian women make good friends – maybe it’s true of every culture but because they are so warm, accustomed to large families and they love to talk and eat, they tend to find ways to coexist with rivalries, gossip, stubbornness and, sometimes, even hypocrisy.

This was by no means a survey with a scientific approach but I had fun conducting it. Feel free to chime in.

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164 Comments

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164 responses to “10 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT ITALIAN WOMEN

  1. sue

    Love it all. I would add: Italian women know how to have love affairs. They don’t shy away from them, they immerse themselves in them and they often stay on good terms with the most tumultuous of lovers.

  2. Anna Maria

    you discribed us perfectly, but I would add:
    “italian women never talk about money “. It is unpolite.

    ciao

  3. silvia

    Never too late right? Applying your research to other targets – because we have to remember that the circle of women you examined represent a small portion of Italian society, all points can be argued except one: number 7 which I think is a mile stone of our race. No matter where in the world you are you can easily recognize Italians (that’s also true for men) by the loudness of their voices, something I admit I am not very proud of.

  4. natalia

    Italian women are very jealous,we keep an eye on our men,and they love to have the last word,intelligence follows in their instincts. We also have a strong personality,leadership is among a lot of us. HYGIENE! cleanliness is important!

  5. Thank you Natalia! I am the exception to the rule when it comes to jealousy but I take your point. And I couldn’t agree more on the cleanliness, sometimes bordering on obsession. And yes, we are bossy, in a good way (sort 0f)

  6. chris

    My new girlfriend is Italian we are both 50 years old and have to agree with everything said , she also has a heart of gold and is the most passionate lover i could ever imagine . She defends her values like a lioness and is sometimes very idealistic. She loves her fashion mainly shoes and hair seem to be paramount ..but what i love most about her she makes sure that i look my best always ..she will correct my posture tuck my shirt in and undo buttons here and there altogether she is the most amazing person ever and im so happy ..thankyou Italy xxx

  7. I am so glad a member of our tribe has brought so much bliss to your world. We are stubborn, sometimes argumentative (in my case, always) and bossy but, in the end, we aim to please. And you sound like like a lovely man who takes her comments and suggestions in stride, happy to oblige in her quest to make you look your best. Never attempt to buy her shoes as a surprise gift but a gift card to Loubouitin or Sergio Rossi will rock her world. Good luck to you both

  8. chris

    Sorry to say that what started off as the most beautiful relationship ive ever had has now gone sower i have taken her on trips bought her flowers every week and little gifts written romantic poems txt her every morning and night when we are apart fixed her flat fed her cat when she was away massaged her for hours scratched her back for her for hours tell her she is beautiful and i love her with all my heart i cook for her take her for drinks and enjoy all of this and would do anything for her ..now she seems distant and wants to start an argument mostly about my x family i am distraught now because have realised as much as i love her it cant go on for ever and i cant find the courage to be without her or tell her ..she says she loves me but she can not stop herself interferring..

  9. Dear Chris, I am so sorry to hear about your troubles. Far from being an agony aunt, the only suggestion I can give you (and it’s really unItalian of me) is to possibly stop from trying to make her happy no matter what and confront her head on. Wouldn’t it be better to know what the underlying problems are and maybe confront them head on and fix them? I don’t know either of you so I might be completely off the mark here but I wish you both a lot of luck. You sound like nice people.

  10. Peter Chiaravalli

    My son received 2 masters degrees from Bocconi in Milano. He lives on the Ligurian coast. He is 34 years old, is fluent, good looking and has a good job. He has lived in Italy for almost 6 years. The bad news is that he can not find a girl friend. He would like to find one and get married. The social scene is very closed to outsiders. How can he meet women and develop a positive relationship? He is a skilled classical violinist and we have suggested joining a community orchestra. He is not a churchy guy, so that is out. He is on the verge of giving up his job and moving back to the states.

  11. Dear Peter, as an Italian woman living in the States, all I can tell you is that the Ligurian coast, especially smaller towns, might not be the most welcoming place to live for a young, single male. I doubt your son had a shortage of girlfriends while studying in Milan, where all kinds of cultures collide. Any university town, such as Florence, Bologna, Padova, will offer many more opportunities to meet likeminded people.
    Your son should also bear in mind that Italian women of that age, unlike in the States, might not be in a terrible hurry to marry and have kids. Most of my girlfriends in longstanding relationships live with their men without necessarily being married.
    Having moved to different cities around the world always by myself, I can attest it always paid off to join “something” that sparks your imagination. Not every drama, skating or cooking class paid off. But yoga classes and gyms did. In Italy especially, conviviality around the table begets acquaintances. And at the risk of sounding a bit of an old fashioned feminist, has your son considered that starting off every relationship as if it could/should lead to the altar could be a put off?
    I wish him all the best of luck and I invite my Italian gals to chime in if they feel like it. (By the way, there are countless amateur orchestras up and down the boot so your idea is definitely spot on)

  12. Jack Pot

    Thanks for the article. I’ve met an Italian women last week. She is so gorgeous and sweet. Any tips and suggestions to make her more happy and meet her interests? Any do’s and dont’s? Although as of now, i can see that see likes me. :) Im a Filipino btw.

  13. Hi Jack Pot,
    And thank you for your comment. Well, without knowing either of you, my suggestions would be to flirt your way for a bit and see if she goes along. We do like to flirt.
    Be unfailingly polite (we tend to like manners) and put some care in your appearance ( I am sure she is into clothes…). If you take her out for dinner, you should probably avoid Italian restaurants. Above all, and the hardest of all, be yourself. It’s the only way to know if you are compatible, no? Good luck. And I would like it if you kept me posted.

    • Jack Pot

      Hello claudiagiulia,

      Thank you. your basic info is somewhat exact and your tips are what she also wants as i see it. you are cool.

  14. Good luck! I really do want to know the developments!

  15. Kim

    Enjoyed your post! (I especially appreciate how you take risks and are not intimidated to say what you REALLy think.) Your list reminded me a lot of Greek, and even Peruvian, women I know. I love the way we “know how” to eat and enjoy food. I also enjoyed your responses to your readers; insightful, intelligent advice. You are a fantastic writer–now take these ideas and write your book! filakia, Kim

  16. Rayjayjones

    Yeah Italian women are nice, its a shame the men aren’t, and its also a shame that out of the 6 Italian women ive known 5 of them ended up in abusive relationships that they CHOSE to stay in year after year to the point of insanity….

    You Italian ladies are beautiful and make amazing mothers, just try to make sure the fathers half decent too yeah?

  17. Let me spare a word in defense of Italian men who can indeed sometimes be chauvinistic and insanely attached to their mothers. But I can count a few Italian boyfriends who were caring and fun and smart and ended up getting dicked around by yours truly. I think women, Italian or otherwise, end up staying in bad relationship way past their due dates for very many reasons, on hindsight, none of them valid. But thank you for sharing from downunder – I appreciate it.

  18. John

    unfortunately the italian woman I came across was very egoistic, unrealistic and too much in to her looks. Even though she realises am the best one ever come in her life but never gave it a serious shot (don’t know why?). Now I have moved on with someone else as I could not bear that anymore.

    But overall and generally Italians are lovely people.

    • Well, John some traits like self-centerdness and vanity are common to many of us, regardless of ethnicity or origin. But thank you for sharing and I wish you all the best of luck with your new girl!

  19. Oscar

    Very handy article. I met this Italian lady recently who simply took my breath away. Personally, I have just come out of a messy break up and she has been really supportive through out it all.

    I take her out to places that I am confident she likes. Her appearance is immaculate and her personality is so much better than what she gives it credit for.

    She has been through a couple of messy break ups as well, so I guess kind of understands. She does put herself down a little based on her past, but I guess that mixed with her overall confidence and exuberance is what has caused me to become a little infatuated with her. She tells me what she is cooking (what I thought was a simple Bolognese) which sounded amazing… also did not help that her voice is so incredibly sexy. Any how, I must be coming across as some kind of freak at the moment.

    I am going out with her again next week and though we are close friends wondered what would be the best way to properly ask her out and ask about a relationship? We have been flirting like crazy and know each others past a little too well.

  20. Dear Oscar,
    Thank you for stopping by. From what you say, it sounds like there might be a basis to take this relationship further. Having said that, before braoching the topic of a relationship stone cold, my suggestion would be to take her out to a romantic dinner or an evening out (theatre/movie etc) and kiss her goodnight. And see how it goes from there….good luck and please let me know what develops.

    • Oscar

      Hi Claudia,

      She doesn’t eat that much… But taking her out for Japanese. She dresses immaculately… But always in heels. Kind of feel bad for her at times when we are walking about.

      Regarding the kiss, we have been pecking eac other on the cheeks like friends would do. I have been away recently and she has been messaging me like crazy. We are not dating yet, but you would think that we are a husband and wife couple with the amount of messages.

      It’s a bit of a tough one as I do not want to loose her as a friend, but over time have developed strong feelings for her and judging by recently, I think there are some feelings as well.

      Have been reading up on to dos and not to dos – order still rather than sparkling water, usual gentleman stuff… We talk about our families but only that our brothers are superior to each of us.

      Well, will do my best. Thanks for the advice.

      Oscar

      • Don’t sweat it too much and be yourself. It always wins in the end. It sounds like she is really interested in you.

        Sent from my iPad

      • Oscar

        Thanks Claudia,

        Guess that’s the key at the end of the day… Guess you it’s like that song by dess’ree – you gotta be.

        End of the day if I’m not the right guy, I just want to see her happy… She has had a rough time with guys and has yet to date a guy who has not been Italian.

        At the end of the day she is the first person that I want to speak to and the person I go to on Saturdays. Beyond the stunning looks, her confidence but yet mistakes make her adorable to myself.

        Just don’t want to see her get hurt, but at the same time feel she could be the one.

        Oh well, just be myself and see what happens.

        Thanks for the tips again (I really need to begin learning Italain properly)

        Oscar

    • Funnily enough, it’s my most read post. Who knew there was so much interest around Italian women…and you should see some of the search terms that are entered to get to that post – most of the interest is from the male portion of the population…

      • Oh geez – that’s a whole spin on it I never thought of! I married into an Italian-American family from the Bronx…and as much as I giggled at your post, I so totally admire the depth of culture and family (and food!). Happy day to you – j.

  21. I love your list. I agree with most of it except for #7. While my mother’s side of the family is loud (when I was a kid, I thought most of them must be deaf otherwise why would they be yelling?) my father’s side of the family is more reserved. I take after my father’s side. I am not that talkative either although it depends on the topic. If push comes to shove, I can hold my own however. I’m going to be posting some Italian ethnic blogging that I wrote last night but didn’t post yet. I hope you’ll come and visit.

    • Hi Marcella,
      Thank your for your thoughtful comments (by the way, yours is one of my favourite names). I think that what Italians lack in organization, they make up in charm and willingness to accommodate. I rented a place once and the owner made me a sandwich as soon as I got him, assuming I would be hungry after the long flight and then proceeded to go out and buy an air conditioning unit because the weather was getting hot. Really, where else? But, trust me, the bureaucracy in Italy can be mind-bogging. A landline anywhere takes between one and two weeks to be installed, a week for a bank account and the list goes on. I am Italian so I am used to it but, when I came to this country, I was blown away by the efficiency. Ok, signing off and going to check your blog

  22. Manda aka Little Italy =)

    Wow! My cup runneth over…I’ve recently come to grasp, recognize and most of all, fall in love with all of me that is Italian. My mother’s biological mother, whom we never met, was an Italian immigrant and as I am getting older(27) I’m learning to understand the parts of me I was curious about; why or how I obtained those traits. I always had a feeling it was ‘in my blood’ but after reading this, I think moment by moment I’m easing more into myself that was always me…always ITALIAN! Knowing how to enjoy LIFE I think sums us up. THE PASSION. The food too, of course! Correct, we never talk money and yes, we are the most passionate lovers. Everyone should have the pleasure of loving an Italian woman. Not being a mother, I really get the part about ‘cherishing motherhood’, even though I am not a mother myself. One day, I hope to visit Italy and see the wonders that only an Italian girl could call home, and even never being there before, it would be a homecoming to remember!

  23. Pizzolanti.

    mostly agreed except for number 3. a burp in an italian household is nothing more than a compliment to the chef and it is an insult if a belch is not produced after a meal.

  24. juanita

    Amazing! this article is truly amazing. I am a 25yr old British born three quarters Italian (Sicilian) and the rest Asian/Indian, and without doubt majority of these characteristics and traits listed above come so very naturally to me, even without realizing most of the time, even though I have very little Italian in me. I strongly agree on number eight – I’m sure other women in other cultures view motherhood as the same, but I have to admit I personally see motherhood as a blessing from above and I’ll cherish the day I am blessed (not that I’m in any rush to marry or have children). Living in London and being mixed race I look pretty much like an Indian girl, Though I have all the “typical” Sicilian look: Shoulder length chestnut hair – slightly wavy but that’s because of the Indian in me, slim physique, at times and not proud to say pretty flamboyant in my speech especially if it’s something I strongly feel about, very hygienic my brother says I have OCD when it comes to cleaning, I’m house proud and a family type girl from a large family. My personal appearance consists of minimal but complimenting makeup, neutral colored well fitted tailored clothes and I hardly wear shoes too high for me to walk in. People assume I’m fully Indian. Unfortunately I am single and have been for a while, I would love to meet an Italian guy as I feel that I will be well suited with a guy with Italian culture, birds of the same feather right? But where are all of those single Italian men hiding in UK?? Because I look Indian (if I was in Sicily I would look like the typical Sicilian) I only seem to attract Indian men, I have no issues with this and to be honest I don’t have issues with any race or colour, But because of the cultural differences and other stuff my past relationships didn’t work out. I’ve tried spending most of my free time around places where there are Italian communities, I’m not really one for dating websites I like to date the traditional way of meeting a person etc. None of this works for me unfortunately :( I have an excellent career for my age and I feel that I’m not too bad looking, Are there any tips you can give me on attracting an Italian man? I know that I’m drifting from the subject but was wondering if you could give me any tips?

    Apologies for the essay… I love to talk and can go on… Ok I’m going to stop now lol :)

    • My darling Sorrentina (I love that!), I truly believe that the eclectic mix of our genes shows up in unexpected ways. A Sicilian girl “trapped” in an Indian body – you probably look amazing! Exotic looks are prized the world over but very much so by Italian men so you are already at an advantage there. As much literature as I have read about Indian culture, I am not sure how much Italian men different from Indian. What they do have in common, though, is probably an undefatigable attachment to their mothers! Jokes aside, Italian men are inveterate flirts. The ones you are more likely to meet in London (I lived there for a number of years – although you do not say where you live) are probably more of the career types, not necessarily looking to marry young. But most Italian men do eventually like to settle down and the way to their heart often detours through their stomachs. Can you cook? Here in LA, where I did not know a single Italian person and I was starting to miss my language, I started going to the Italian Institute of Culture. Lots of free programming, movies, book clubs etc although the age seems to be quite a bit older than 25. The trick to meeting Italians is meeting just one – somehow, lots of others seem to follow as they tend to gravitate towards each other and they enjoy doing things in large groups. So, don’t focus on guys only. Girls will do too because they will most likely lead you where you want. At the end of the day, and this is my experience talking, what you want is someone with your same understanding of the world, someone who challenges you, who can make you think outside the box, no matter what culture they are from. And if you haven’t yet, start saving and take a trip to your roots….you never know…

  25. Manuel

    I have been chatting online for some time with an italian woman, she has sounded sensible and nice, paasionate and full of life. We have phoned each other and exchanged photos. I have planned a holiday in Milan so that I am able to meet her finally. Just worried that, what if she is not what i want, but your article has given me some bright outlook..Thanks

    • Dear Manuel, do you know what I like about your note? You say you are worried that she might not be what you want rather than worrying about the opposite. That shows self-confidence. I think you are gutsy in travelling to Milan and, looking at the bright side, even if things don’t work out, you will be in an interesting city, can always hop to the lakes nearby, fill yourself up on pizza and have a good time anyway. But I do hope it works out – would love to know. Buona Fortuna!

  26. Michael

    Thanks for posting such a interested topic! There’s this very pretty Italian girl that has been going to my church for the last couple of years. I have never spoken to her but we have locked eyes on each other several times.. (too many to remember). I get this feeling that she really wants to talk with me and vice versa, but its so difficult because she is always with her mom and sister. She is a women who is very reserved and has an everlasting relationship with God. As for me, I love God with all my heart and thats the main reason why im so attracted to her. There is nothing more attractive than a girl who has a strong relationship with God. Her beauty is just a bonus. Sometimes i daydream about her and it feels like ive already met her, but when i snap back to reality, its all a dream. I would Love to introduce myself, talk with her and become good friends but im just so confused as to how i am going to approach her. Any advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks!

    • Hi Michael, thanks for your comment. Are there any evening or week-end events at the church that your Belle would be likely to attend? If not, I think there would be nothing wrong, now that you have locked eyes countless times, to extend a greeting and a generic question along the lines of where you live and such. If she takes the hint, she will follow up and you will have broken the ice. You already have your faith in common and that is a wonderful start. Would love to know how it ends. Buona fortuna!

  27. joe

    I really liked the post. Bellas look the most attractive. Im spanish (many say i look italian )but i want to marry an italian. What aress in so cal are the most heavily italian? I need to know where to find my treasure at.

    Also-what are some of the best ways to win an italian womans heart? What is that you desire from a man in order to be crazy about him.

    I like a strong woman who wants to be jealous because, you keep the things you love the most closest. to you. I want a woman who is a top notch mother as anything less is unacceptable to me.

    I

  28. Hi Joe, thanks for your comment. I am flattered, on behalf of my fellow Italian women, you seem so intent on marrying one of us. I understand there are racial traits and characteristics some of us are more drawn to but it will take quite a bit of excavating to make sure the woman you will spend the rest of your life with has the same goals as you. You don’t mention where in So Cal you are but, being in LA, that is where I tend to meet most Italians. Not so many in Orange County. Not sure of your age bracket either, but a good place to start might be the Italian Cultural Institute in Westwood. They have many free events and movies you can attend. What does it take? I think the tenets are the same as for every woman: cleanliness, sense of humour, savoir faire, a steady job and the willingness to stay open. As to what is peculiar to Italian women in particular: a fashion sense. No ugly clothes please! At least for a good firt impression! Good luck and would love to know how it goes

  29. Robbie

    Hi claudiagiulia I am moving to roma for my new job and I hope i end up finding a girlfriend amongst the beauty which is known as Italian women I’ve heard your passion as women is as hot as your souls but there’s one problem i don’t know where to start with italian women and how to please them

    • Dear Robbie, start by not being self-conscious. I am not sure that Italian women are as different to please as other ethnicities – there are basic common traits that work well with all females, such as courtesy, cleanliness, humour and a bit of savoir faire. My lot tends to pay attention to style quite a bit though so, if you need to, take some fashion lessons from Italian guys, well put together even when casual. Above all, be your charming self. There is nothing more attractive than a man at ease with himself. Good luck and do let me know. Where are you moving to anyway?

  30. Never mind, Robbie.. you did say you are moving to Rome. You will have a blast. Life carries on outside because of the great weather. Go out, take advantage of all the city has to offer and you will meet more Italian women you will know what to do with. Just be patient with the mind-boggling traffic. For some fun things to do in Rome, check my posts under the travel category (I was there not so long ago)

  31. wyatt

    enjoy it while it lasts. in a couple of years when they become chubby and start bleaching their moustaches you’ll wonder where the romance went.

  32. Hi Wyatt, I think you have seen too many 50’s movies….I don’t have a single girlfriend with a moustache and the fat content as Italian women age is way lower than their American counterparts….just saying….

  33. have always found the Italian culture to be warm and the food wonderful

  34. Helen

    Italians are evil toward non-Italians. They think they are superior. Guess, what? A lot of people dont care for garlic and tomato “gravy.”

  35. edward

    I always liked the traditional italian woman they are soo comfy with themselves and not tlike the US ones in dumb us culture,
    My cousins are sicilian and they want you to eat and relax at the table and talk, unlike US people brainwashed by thinking they have to go all the time like a dumb robot,with no brains,
    Id like to meet more Italian woman they are soo nice and to just watch them cook or listen to them talk, and be a true friend to you and not some fairweather ones like here in the US Ive seen,
    and to thething that Italians are not comfy with non italians,
    I like to fit right in. and not act like some soche US prude,

    • camparigirl

      Dear Edward, thank you for your nice comments about Italian women. But, be aware, some Italian women do not cook (!) and I am sure there are some lovely American women out there. As a rule, we might be more feisty and definitely less prude but, you know, exceptions to the rules, on both sides, I am sure abound!

      • lou

        American women do not cook and an overwhelming majority have either no personality or some type of personality disorder, usually derived from a really weird inner family life.

      • Well, that might be a sweeping overgeneralization. I have plenty of American girlfriends who cook and have stable personality. I think the differences are mainly cultural.
        Thanks for your comment though!

  36. Anna

    Lol these are all very true as I call it being an Italian girl means I’m always proud and LOUD!

  37. Hart broken man

    I was married to an Italian lady for 18 yrs. She didn’t drink because her intire family were alcoholics. I enjoyed my alcolol, it (in my opinion) was not excessive. I always treated her rhe way a lady would love in her man with love and respect. I agree with ALL of the nice things stated about Italian ladies above in this posting.
    We are now divorced. As I write this comment, It looks like and feels like I am wining. She wants to be friends but that is hard for me. Once you love an Italian lady, she is hard to replace. I miss my best friend
    Thank you for all of your insights above. Gentelmen: if your in a relationship with (most) Italian women, you will never find such devotion to her man in a relationship with any other lady. Hang on to her. I wish I had made better choices
    Any advise on the way to win her back. I have never seen her change her mind when her mind is made up.
    God bless her.
    Scott

    • Dear Scott, I am so sorry your marriage didn’t work out and it’s pretty hard to give advice on how to win a woman, Italian or otherwise, back. It sounds like you might still need to take stock of what happened. If she is willing to be friends with you, it probably means she still cherishes some of the qualities that attracted her to you in the first place and does not want to lose them. You could go out for a few meals and talk, without making her feel pressured to re-enter the relationship, and take it from there. I don’t want to give you any false hope as I don’t know you or her, and you say she rarely changes her mind, but if she gives you an opening, you will know and can go from there. If not, as sad as it is, it might be time to move on. Lots of ladies, Italian or not, looking for a good man.

  38. Perfetto!!! I agree with it all. It’s quite strange that all of things are true! :) I’m exactly how you described everything! It makes me laugh because my fiancé and ppl I know always say I talk too much, I’m loud, I never eat anything other than pasta! I can go on! I love being who I am.

  39. crystal falanga

    i am an italian women and i agree with a lot you said, the only problem is a lot of it i do not fallow through with. Being raised in a small town in the US makes it hard to fallow through with how people see each other now a days. i am glad you went and seen all this, i sometimes sit and wish more people cared less about looks and more about stuff like this.

    • Hi Crysta, I think there are still plenty of people willing to go beyond appearances, although sometimes it feels they are all in hiding. May the cross your path often!
      Thanks for commenting

  40. alex

    Hello to everybody. I must say i have questions. If there are Italian women here (orn in italy) that would help i’d greatly appreciate that. So, i’m 21, i’m Russian. I always loved the Italian culture, art, and all those great things in Italy. I’ve always wanted t date an Italian girl, because from what ive seen in life, in tv, and read, they have tastes and preferences that i feel are in me..Not that i’m thebest or something…no. It’s hard to explain but i’ve aways wanted an Italian girlfriend and family. Now, i live in states and i’m planning to go to Italy, live there for a while and maybe find a job and stay. I wish i could live there.. My father has been there every -3 months for past 10 years for bussinnes..So back to the questions- what would help me to get to know an Italian girl that i liked..how to ask her out? what does make a good imression on her? what is bad to say? where would be the places to take her to? and so on …Any help would be greatly appreciated..Ciao.

  41. Dear Alex, first of all, enjoy your time in Italy – you are very lucky to have such an opportunity. Don’t forget that happiness attracts people. Despite internet dating making big strides in Italy, Italians don’t have a word for “date”. You will meet girls through friends, co-workers and just being social. For a first outing? Try and aperitivo and a movie. A stroll around town and a meal – we do like to eat. If you can cook, impress her. And don’t be too forward. Italians love to flirt. Good luck and report back.

  42. Mario B.

    Having Sicilian heritage, I find many Italian women especially from the mezzogiorno to be a bit over the top and very dramatic. From our self loathing and overbearing mothers to our pompous and quarrelsome girlfriends. I guess we can laugh at ourselves! I wouldn’t want to be anything else but Sicilian. Thanks all x

  43. italian girl

    I am italian and I live in the northen italy. I definitely agree on each point, except for the number 9. I am crazily in love with a kiwi man, and after that I can hardly think about going back to an italian style “latin lover”. but it’s only my impression.

  44. Maryanne Sitienei

    Am Kenyan and I recently got a chance to acquint a sicilian man. He was absolutely adorable, social, had a great sense of humour, respect and I could go on and on …
    I hope to interact with more guys from the south…Maryanne.

  45. Harry

    For the record, I love everything I have ever met that was Italian such as cars, tools, women, FOOD, music, culture etc.

    I am a 1.98m male and have noticed that in some countries, there is a pronounced difference in the population’s height between one region and another. (I attribute it to a combination of diet and genetics.)

    Now, to my question…I am hoping to go to Italy for the first time this year, is there any one region that is taller or shorter than the national average?

    I am a little hard of hearing and find that social situations can be taxing when the group conversation is happening at about chest level. I really want to have a positive impression of Italy on my trip.

  46. Hi Harry, well geographically speaking, Northern Italians tend to be taller than in the South but it is a sweeping generalization. Like here, you will find all kinds everywhere.
    Enjoy your trip! I am sure you will. So much to see, eat and take in. And people are really friendly, whether they speak English or not.

  47. Paul

    i have met a sicilian girl studying erasmus in valencia, spain where i have recently moved. i am american of northern decent (blond hair, blue eyes). when we first met, she couldn’t even look into my eyes and stuttered when she spoke to me. within weeks we were chatting at the bar and she was helping me with my spanish. we would have a little too much to drink and she would stare into my eyes and i would want to kiss her, but she would not give me the opportunity. whenever i touched her, she shivered. we kissed on the last night before i went home for christmas. she was shy about it and said how dangerous it was. i decided to be a gentleman and hold out until I came back from home. i went home for christmas for a month where we wrote each other every day. when i returned, however, she was cooler to me. we still went to the bar, texted, and saw each other almost every day. She still couldn’t look me in the eyes. one day she told me she was passionate but had cool hands, that she was a “chickens***” in her own words. we went out to play pool at a bar, i told her how much i like her and how i know she knows. i asked her if she felt comfortable with me, she said yes, the first stranger she has ever opened up to. i told her how much our friendship means to me (which it really does!) and how i can’t help but like her more. at the end of the night she told me she didn’t want anything more from me, not even a cigarette, was a little unkind about some things and walked home alone. i felt bad, a little hurt, but woke to find a very kind message on my phone. i kept my distance, but she drew me close at every dinner, bar, and conversation. i danced with her last week. she held my hand on and off all night. what should i do with someone that gives me such mixed messages and will not open up verbally to how she feels about me? Help! Italian Ladies!

    • I say run! She’s too conflicted. Find someone else who is less complicated or you could end up broken-hearted. Besides, once she sees that you have cooled off, she may all of a sudden show more interest (if you would still want her). There are some people who keep others at arm’s length. It doesn’t matter what their nationality. She may be one of those. It also crossed my mind that she could have had a traumatizing experience, like rape. In any case, she doesn’t sound ready for a relationship.

  48. Dear Paul, As always it is rather difficult to offer suggestions when I don’t personally know the players involved. There could be many reasons why your girl behaves the way she does, sending you so many mixed signals. Maybe she has never been involved in a serious relationship before or maybe she is very shy. Could it be she had a strict religious upbringing that interferes with what her heart tells her to do? There is also the less appealing possibility she is just a flirt, toying with you – some women are addicted to being liked. But, from what you say, she doesn’t quite come across that way. It’s not clear whether she grew up in Valencia or she is also studying there for a time; in which case, could it be she has somebody back home waiting for her? Whatever the case may be, if you want to pursue this you will need a lot of patience and diplomacy to coax her out of her shell and opening up to what she feels or doesn’t feel for you. Only you can know how long is too long before you need to move on.
    Good luck and please report back. Don’t forget you are in a beautiful place so make the most of it!

    • Peter

      My son has lived Italy for 7 years. He has 2 masters degrees from Bocconi,has a good job and wants to be married, but Italian women don’t seem interested in the institution any longer. He currently lives in Chiavari and is so lonely that he is thinking of leaving Italy. At 35 years old he does not wish to wait too much longer. Suggestion, comments.

      • Dear Peter, despite Italy being a Catholic country and a conservative one in many ways, marriage is not a priority for most young people, including women. Most of my girlfriends in long-term relationships live with their partner but have never tied the knot. It’s actually a trend all over Europe, partly stemming from a disregard for institutions in general and partly, when it comes to Italy, because it’s hard to find affordable housing and well-paying jobs and young people postpone starting a family until later in life.
        I think, especially for women in the North, it’s also a way to refocus their priorities on career and self-realization, instead of following in the more conventional footsteps of their mothers.
        Chiavari is also a very small and not particulary cosmopolitan place, where it might be harder to meet the sort of woman your son is looking for. People from Liguria in particular (and I realize this is a bit of a sweeping generalization) tend to be extremely reserved and less open to outsiders than most Italians. Milan, Rome, Bologna, Turin are all better bets from meeting new acquaintances. Good luck to him!

  49. Peter

    Dear camparigirl,
    You are right. Chiavari is provincial and Ligurians seem reserved. He will be asking for a transfer to Rome or else will leave his company and perhaps Italy. He prefers the South for the weather and perhaps the more friendly people. He lived in Milan and altho more urbane and close to ski areas, the weather is too much like Michigan for his tastes.
    Peter

  50. monti

    wow…..its just amazing i read near about all the posts i dont have words at all to explain how much i liked this …well basically i am young indian boy just 20 years old and i am here in the italy from the last three months ….well i know its not enough time to know all about a culture but now i am going to start my studies here in italy in politecnico di torino presently i am living here in prato nearby florence , and here normally i use to meet girls but in most of the cases , i was disappointed by the (i dont know what should i call it ) compliment that “ora tu sei picolo” may be it sounds funny but for me its not at all , and the problem in my social circle there is no girl at all of mine age i just use to see them in markets ,in bars etc can anybody plz tell me something about flirting in public ? i mean how to approach a italian girl of my age in public places ??????

    • Hi Monti, you might want to start frequenting bars where younger people meet. If you see a girl you are interested in, just hold her gaze for a few seconds. Then look again, and see if she is also checking out. If she is, after a little while of this back and forth, you can approach her – introduce yourself, ask her her name and tell her your story. Ask her questions, show some interest.
      You should be able to meet girls your own age at the politecnico. Try and have fun. Above all, be yourself. Anything fake or forced always comes through

  51. monti

    thank you very much for your supportive answer , but the problem is that i am not a good speaker of italian language , and one of my friend told me that most of the girls here are unable to speak english and they dont like that person who is unable to speak their mother tongue is it true ?

    • Hi Monti! The good news is that Italians in general will try to communicate with everyone, regardless of language barriers. The bad news is that English is not widely spoken. I don’t think not being fluent in English will be a reason for girls to ignore you but it might hard to conduct a relationship when communication is difficult. Finding an English speaking girl who can also help you improve your Italian might be your best bet.

  52. WordsFallFromMyEyes

    What a great read! And what a service you do do for those Italian women. Ah, such passion. ‘convinced’ Italian food is the best, hee hee : I do see why.

  53. ErosLoJuventino

    11. Italian women sing very well, and by very well, I don’t mean like Rihanna or Lady GaGa, but very well in the sense of genuine passion, talent and commitment. Giorgia is my favourite!
    12. Italian women who support Juventus are the best!

  54. ErosLoJuventino

    On a more serious note, I enjoyed reading this blog. Italy wouldn’t be the same without its women.

    On point #5, I slightly disagree with you. I know a lot of French women and they are very classic as well in the way they dress – British women are the ones who like the kitsch stuff. The difference I note between French and Italian women is that Italian women tend to wear a lot more close-fitting clothes.

    I’ve been a supporter of Juventus and Italy’s national football team since my childhood and I love the Italian language and meeting Italian people. Italian language sounds very nice as well and the music is fantastic, especially Eros Ramazzotti.

    • Thank you for your comments ErosLoJuventino. You are right, Italian women have a stronger need to show off their bodies than French ones do.
      Did Milan win the championship again this year? Well, Forza Juventus!

  55. Salim

    I like your post, I read it all with all comments and replies. Honestly speaking Italian women are adorable, special,beautiful, they can seat at the dinner table for 3 hrs.
    I live in Malindi, a beautiful Kenyan resort with many italians most of them tourists.
    I have been longing to get an italian woman and thank God my hunting was successful as I write this comment I am proud of having this special woman, in her 50’s and am 35yr.
    She has no children but she love family.
    About money, she talks alot, she don’t ask me money don’t get me wrong but she always think am in need so she fill like to help me though she knows I have job.
    Diffrent from most italian women of her age my girl doesn’t like fashion or make up just like me.
    Now I miss her so much, she is in Italy for holiday.But I can’t finish a pragraph without her sms interuption, I like this!

    • Hi Salim, and welcome. It makes me really happy you have found a loving Italian woman to have a meaningful relationship with. And I am grateful you took the time to share your story.
      Hang tight – she will be back soon I hope! I really envy the beautiful paradise you live in!

  56. Great job! *:) most of my family is Italian and my great great grandma and grandpa on my Grammys side are from Italy. I have a lot of the characteristics also like my aunt.

  57. Drew

    Great blog! I’ve traveled to all seven continents in the past four years, lived in GB and all over the US. Have planned for a long time to move to Italy. Will be moving there in a few years, with nothing to hold me here in the US. Don’t want you to take this the wrong way but I have no desire to marry anyone from the US. Have had many relationships here but don’t want to be stuck here, don’t like the food here, and not much culture, probably because America is only a couple of hundred years old. I’ve experienced relationships with women in many cultures. While its true women are the same the world over, I’m looking forward to experiencing an Italian woman in her own culture. At the very least it will be an exciting chapter in my life as always. I’ve got the time to learn Italian and am enjoying it! Meeting an Italian woman will happen in its own time in Italy. Grew up in an Italian household as a child, with all the familiar traditions, wedding soup, the Sunday Pasta meals after church etc. I have a HUGE appetite, the Italian mom I grew up with couldn’t believe I could put away at least a couple of pounds of pasta at each meal. She thought it was remarkable because most Italian Mom’s always seem to tell you to EAT EAT lol. To this day I eat a pound of pasta just about every night before bed. I think I never gain weight because of my high metabolism and low heart rate. I’m fortunate in my early 30’s to have a lean muscular build and love to eat so much pasta lol. I’m set financially now, but later especially for life in a few years, so I will be leaving the US for good. Don’t think I’m the marrying type but it will be fun to get involved in the Italian culture and make friends. I’m always an open book and find it easy to make friends from strangers the world over in my travels. In many ways I’m still playful like a boy, but I have the experiences as a man to know better. I usually prefer the East Coast Italian sauces almost like a thick zesty tomato puree as opposed to the watered down Italian sauces here in SoCal and on the West Coast. Would Roma and the Northern Cities of Italy have the thicker sauces or southern Italy at the bottom of the boot near Sicily? Just curious…oh and thank you for your time ;-)

    Best,
    Drew

    • Hi Drew, you are going to have so much fun living in Italy, even if the country is going through a nasty recession that has dampened many spirits. I think you will love it but might be surprised by the food which has little in common with the East Coast saucy pasta you mention. We barely coat our pasta with sauce and use very little garlic but the more south you travel, the heavier and more tomato-y the food is.
      Enjoy yourself and maybe start a blog with your adventures!

      • Drew

        Hi MIss Campari Girl, thanks for your quick reply! Yeah, I DO like the heavier zesty pasta sauces. So if they don’t use much sauce in Northern Italy what do they use with the pasta? When I make my pasta at night here I boil a pound of spaghetti until it’s al dente then pour in Greek Kalamata Extra Virgin Olive Oil and add some Trader Joes Mozzarella cheese. I don’t like garlic though, being a vampire it doesn’t work with my complexion lol…Thanks for the info to expect the sauces I’m looking for further south plus I love humid, hot weather which is farther down the boot as well. I don’t drink vino though, the sulfites make me red in the face. Who knows, maybe the vino in Italia won’t affect me the same. That trait made me unpopular up in the Napa Valley six months ago. BUT, I will travel to Roma and all the northern cities during their summer. My Facebook page has all my pics from my travels worldwide. I’m curious what Northern italian’s use with their pasta?

      • We do put sauce on the pasta – just not a huge amount. Italians who come to the States always remark on how the pasta is swimming in sauce here as they are not used to it. But trust me, it will be good!

  58. Jeff

    Wish I had read this a month ago. I have been talking with a woman who is cuban but lived in Italy the last 12 years for a little over a month. I know she considers her self more Italian than cuban. She has had me very confused. I am not a jealous person, but have been so with her. We went to lunch at an Italian eatery that is run by Italians, as I knew she would like this. She proceded to talk to the waitress and chef in Italian for half the time we were there, leaving me a little upset as I do not understand Italian. She was also looking all around the eatery while we were there. I am not accustomed to someone doing this, hence the upset part. We did talk after eating and I let her know my interest and asked why she has not opened up to me much. She said that she had been hurt in the past and that she was scared that it would not work, and then said yes to going to the park on sunday. After lunch I took her home and her daughter had gotten home from school. When we were sitting there her daughter said she wished I was her dad. The woman said WHAT? I show up on sunday and they are not home? No phone call or anything. She seems to go hot and cold on me. I have not been able to be my normal confident self. I may have pushed her off from my reaction to her actions at the eatery, but any suggestions would be nice.

    • Dear Jeff, Italian or not, no woman should treat a man who has expressed an interest in her in such a manner. It’s just plain rude. Maybe she is scared it’s all moving too fast – a legitimate concern for a single mother who might not want to expose her daughter to a man who might, or might not, stick around. Still, if she couldn’t make the date with you, she should have called to tell you. Or just be honest on how she feels and why this might not be what she is looking for right now. And you shouldn’t expect any less. I am all for giving people second chances but let her know your interest in her doesn’t allow her to treat you like a doormat. No need to get upset, give her a chance to explain but be firm. Dirsrespect from day one is not a good way to start. Hold on to your self-esteem. Let me know, ok?

  59. Jeff

    Thanks. Camparigirl. She seems to have fallen of the planet.. I called and texted twice a week ago with no response. Oh well, it is probably better…as you said lacck of respect is not a good way to start.

  60. Les

    I am a passionate, deeply romantic, loving man. It sounds like an Italian woman would be able to savor the depths of emotion, passion, love, and depth of committment I seek in a partner. I am an artist and love to create beautiful things both in cooking and in love. I have been seeking a woman who can deeply savor wonderful food with me, and moreso, the depth of romance reflected in our eyes over a candle lite dinner and wine. Which is richer, Italian food or the depth of an Italian woman’s love? …..how do I find a Italian woman who can share this with me? deanern@juno.com

    • Dear Les, are you so sure that women of any ethnicity can’t love as deeply as you imagine Italian women do? Any woman would love to be with a man who cherishes candle lit dinners and romance as much as you do. Not to mention good food. You don’t say where you are based but, other than moving to Italy, checking out any Italian cultural activities in your city might be your best bet to meet Italians. Once you meet one, many more usually follow! Good luck.

  61. himu

    hi dear all.
    I live here in Italy about 5 years . to be understanding any Italian women your need must be batter Italian languise . Then give a long period time pass. share your about all. offer to shopping dinner on restaurant.
    before to find an Italian women also she verify about you.what’s you want..
    if you are really honest they accept you. far away is not problem.

    they are really intelligent this is the point.

  62. Ashutosh

    I have had a very small but beautiful experience with Italian women.She was here in India on a foreign exchange.I have yet to meet a women so beautiful and so full of niceness.I would love to marry an Italian women someday.

  63. WOW just what I was looking for. Came here by searching
    for shipt

  64. silviat.v.t.b@hotmail.it

    WHATTTTTT?? hahahah i’m italian and i would pay to come from another country lol

    • I think what you are saying is that you would like to live in another country, not necessarily being born somewhere else. Or am I wrong? I certainly wouldn’t move back to Italy right now

  65. This is so TRUE!!! A friend sent me the link to your article. I’m Italian too and have lived in the US for many years, some of which in LA. Great post! I’m glad I found your site! :-)

  66. Rebecca

    Italians have a certain shape of mouth, really curly hair, can be brown, red, blonde, or black, thin, pretty, good lovers, attractive (just wanted to write it). I’m 1/8 italian and one of my besties in italian.

  67. Sandra

    This is all 100% true for me its kinda sad

  68. John Caffrey

    Hey there. Any suggestions on how to hit on an Italian girl who is 19 years of age. She is my classmate but we hardly talk as I am too shy. Recently, I realised I am fond of her and wanted to know her more.

    What should I do. How to get her attention and maybe ask her out for a date.

    John

    • Hi John,

      How about the direct approach? Start chatting about the class, about the work you are both doing and see if she is responsive and if you have something in common. Maybe after the third of fourth conversation, suggest grabbing a coffee together or a movie or anything else you might have established you share an interest in. If she is particularly unresponsive, it might be she is not interested but you have nothing to lose in giving it a shot. What’s the worst that can happen? She says no. We can all survive that. Just be yourself and stay open to what can happen. Good luck and let me know.

  69. Matias

    Hi! I’m from finland and i have been talking with italian girl on facebook and i think i love she. And i am going to meet her on november.
    Is there any advises or what i need to know about italian girls?
    I know what i’m going to do with her and everything like that, but what does italian girls like etc.?

    • Hi Matias, if the two of you already established a connection, clearly you have something in common. But be careful professing love for someone you haven’t met in person yet! Just be yourself, be polite and try to convey some poise. She will be nervous too. If you are meeting on neutral ground, maybe do some advance research on where to eat. And, for a nice touch, why don’t you bring her a little gift from Finland? Something inexpensive but sweet. Good luck and let me know

      • Matias

        I’m really shy guy but i’m not nervous about seeing her.. Only that would this be the eternal love story or not..
        I know that its important to not to rush about love!
        I cannot be unpolite.. Thats just not me!
        I have looked for restauranses and beautiful places where to go.. Everything is planned for first date!
        Oh a gift would be good thing.. Why i havent think about that.. But now i start looking something nice!
        Big thank you for the “luck”!
        P.s. What means – try to convey some poise?

      • It means trying to look calm and collected and in control (even if you are as nervous as hell!). Take the luck but, above all, have tons of fun!

  70. Hi! I am inlove with an italian lady I met online. Our friendship had grown for over a year now. To me, she is one amazing, beautiful, intelligent woman. I love her, but she doesn’t know that I do. We of course say that we love each other often, but in a friend kind of way. I am afraid to destroy the good relationship I have with her if I expressed my feelings. I can’t do that, so I write love letters in another language she doesn’t understand. I know, it’s silly, but I feel safer that way. She laughs at my un-decodable (I don’t know if that’s even a real word) messages. She says I’m cute for doing so, but that only breaks my heart somewhat. Another factor that I’m afraid of is our age differences. She is 45, and I’m 21. Age doesn’t matter to me, and I can definitely match her maturity. What I don’t know however is whether she’s willing to date someone half her age. We do have some things in common, and for the things that are not, we find fascinating. I am female by the way.

    • Dear Teng, your comment is so touching because your love and passion and fears are all there, in a few paragraphs. There are a couple of things you don’t mention but that I will take for granted: that you met online but went on to meet in person and that your Italian friend is also gay.
      In this friendship, your friend is, if not necessarily wiser, certainly more experienced in the ways of the heart (and the heartbreak)t: the good thing is that she is probably more understanding and less inclined to cause harm. The bad thing is that she might take into consideration the age difference – as we get older, we become more careful in protecting ourselves and others. She might not be willing to give it a shot to see where all this goes, maybe thinking you will move on eventually.
      You don’t have to take my advice – I am the kind of person who always went for broke and put her heart on the line. At times it worked, many times it didn’t. But are you happy with the way things are? To keep on this way? By declaring your feelings, you risk losing her friendship although, if she is mature and treasures your friendship, she won’t disappear. If she is sensitive and she knows you well, she might have guessed your feelings and if she doesn’t push you further, she might have her reasons. But there is no shame in finding out what these reasons are. Provided you really want to know the answer.
      Whatever happens, you will be alright.

  71. AR

    I had a short relationship with an Italian woman. She was the most creative, and artistic person I have known; and the best kisser! She was mercurial though, and left me uncertain as to how to continue the relationship(?)
    I have a friend — we are American — who married an Italian. Our Italian friend said there are only 4 words of Italian he needs to learn: “yes, dear” and “I’m sorry.” I guess that’s the bossy part? Still I find Italians and Italy to be the classiest and and greatest place to visit that I have seen.

    • Well, thank you for the compliments. As to us being bossy, I think we are more the maneuvering types – we will boss you around but you will not be entirely sure we did it (or how). It is a pretty matriarchial society – the “mamma” stereotype is somewhat true!
      Thanks for commenting.

  72. NL

    Hi camparigirl! First off I just have to say i absolutely LOVE all of your replies, you are a very insightful person, you most certainly have your wits about you and I admire that. I suppose I have a few questions regarding Italy and Italian women. The first thing, is that I have just discovered the amazing beauty that is THESE creatures (fine ladies), I have had the pleasure of meeting some during my Rotary Conference, I was stunned by their beauty, and in specific, one that had great charm and an out going personality. She dressed beautifully, and smiled, sometimes I felt like it lit up the whole room, just for my delight. At the end of the exchange during a dinner, myself, her, and some exchange students were sitting around a table. All of us had been chatting back and forth, I of course could not stop glancing at this girl, I couldn’t wrap my head around it. Towards the end of the meal I just HAD to say something more than just small talk to her, so I went on my phone and Googled how to say, “You are very pretty.” So, I asked her how to say a few Italian phrases, and then I asked her if I was saying this right, “tu sei molto carina”, with as much floatiness on the end as I could without making it weird. She laughed and said yes, but that to pronounce carina a little bit differently, whether or not she liked me and what I said is beyond me. I do know I am infatuated, and that she is 99% likely not my perfect match, but I am still very interested in her. She will be going back to Italy at the end of our school year, and I do not live near her exchange location. She has said that she may come back to the U.S for university, she is beautiful, and very out going. I’m not saying I have to be with her, but she’s a very intriguing girl, the same age, with an interest in music. I have now become very fascinated with Italy, and I have read much about the culture, from it’s history, to it’s food. I know that I will definitely visit Italy in the future, whether or not I get picked for Italy as my exchange is a toss up. I guess my question is, was this an okay thing to do? Should I try and learn Italian to impress her at the next conference quite a few months away? Even if she ends up being nothing I want, I will still know Italian, and it’s a beautiful language. I would love to hear your thoughts, thank you very much!

    • Dear NL,
      You flirted with an Italian girl and I am sure she loved it! Italian women, and also men for that matter, are very flirtatious by nature so I am sure you did not cause offense.
      You say you are probably not suited for each other but, then again, we are not talking marriage here. If being so taken by a pretty stranger pushes you to explore a new culture and even consider taking up a new language, I see no downside. You can dazzle her next time you see her and maybe you will make a friend – who can prove useful if you do decide to ever visit Italy.
      You are both young. Have fun, and don’t over think it.
      By the way: London, in my 20’s, I was briefly taken with a Jordanian. The fling lasted exactly 5 minutes. My interest in the intricacies of Middle East politics is still going strong! I hope you do report back.

      • NL

        I have read almost all of the comments and your replies on this page, could you explain to me a bit more about how many Italian women do not exactly think in terms of marriage? I don’t mind the thought of settling down and getting married, but i’m not religious and my kind of marriage would strictly be for tax benefit.

      • It’s not that Italian girls are against marriage per se. It’s that the majority of Europeans in general don’t grow up aspiring to the white wedding fairy tale marriage. It’s a mixture of declining religiosity, economic circumstances and having moved on with the times. Most European couples tend to prefere co-habitation, for which you get pretty much the same rights as marriage, depending on the country. Having said that, marriage is a commitment – some choose to honor that commitment without taking any vows, but taking those vows just for tax reasons doesn’t seem to be in the right spirit. Unless both parties go in with their eyes wide open.

      • NL

        :P I like this way of thinking, co-habitation seems right, I am glad this is the preferred method, I have already started learning Italian, dedicating a few hours a day to it.

      • NL

        Thanks for all your replies!

  73. I want one information which I consider most important about Italian women: Are Italian women beautiful just like their European counterparts. As far as I have seen the pictures of Italians on the internet, they are dull in skin colour and have not very handsome face look. I am actually interested in Italy and about its people. I will really appreciate if anyone help me regarding this info.

    • That is an odd question. What is considered beautiful is so personal. Like every other country under the sun, Italy has beautiful women. What makes a woman beautiful is not the skin colour or a nose shape but her personality, allure and smarts. All traits that need to be experienced first hand. It’s about chemistry and not pictures on the internet.

      • OK, you are perhaps right. I shouldn’t have considered one factor. My approach was wrong. Thanks for your guidance and if you are Italian then I am sorry for that if my question annoyed you.

      • No offense taken and no need to apologize. I hope you do go to Italy and see for yourself. Enjoy the culture, the food and, well, the women too!

  74. Chang

    this is really good information. and nadir usman your question is not offensive for what reason you are sorry for you just shared your observation and asked about it. According to my information Italians has reputation of being stylish and beautiful.

  75. Yonatan

    I am 35 year old Jewish guy from USA who would like to marry an Italian woman and live in Italy the rest of my life.. I am tired of America, American women and would like to live a more traditional life. I am told by many that I look Italian and my brothers look more on the Sicilian side, whereas people tell me I look more Northern Italian, as I am lighter. Anyhow, I love the Italian language, culture, food, music and way of life. I don’t care about all the creature comforts of America and having the largest house with the largest RV. Living a more simple, humble way of life in a villa in a small Italian town or village would sound so ideal to me. Can you tell me how hard it is to find a more traditional Italian girl, not the northern Italian diva type, but a good wholesome village girl, one whom I will still have to go to her father for a blessing, etc?? I just want to live as a traditional Italian. Being a Jew, would I face any racism or opposition? Jews and Italians have a lot of things in common I notice.

    I know Italy, like most of Europe is striving to be Americanized and modern and shunning more of the old way of life, more and more, but I am thinking there still must be places were the old culture is respected, even if it is integrated with the more modern mentality..

    Molto Grazie..

    Yonatan

    • Dear Yonatan, you seem to have very clear ideas about your future – I like that. It’s true that Jews and Italians have a lot in common, a cult of the “mother” among them! But also getting families together, sticking to certain traditions and a penchant for endless arguments for the sake of arguing. The Jewish community in Italy is pretty small, with the most vibrant being in Rome. Beautiful synagogues can be found in many cities, though, and I would recommend you visit the Jewish ghetto in Venice if you ever go.
      As to the Italian girl of your dream, I am not sure she exists the way you imagine her. Even the smaller villages in Southern Italy, where traditions are still strong, have moved on somewhat, and especially young people, who tend to migrate to larger urban centers for better job opportunities. In the ways of marriage and relationships, Italy is a much less traditional society than you might think. Having said that, the only way to meet the Italian woman you are seeking, is to learn the language, familiarize yourself with the culture and move over there. It’s not like you can otherwise find a mailorder bride!
      As to racism and opposition, as I said, Jews in Italy are not numerous and many people go a lifetime without ever meeting an Italian Jew. But the ones who are there are perfectly integrated – like the rest of Europe, there are some far right fringe elements in Italy too – sadly, racism is currenlty directed to North Africans and Middle Eastern immigrants.
      But a traditional Italian girl will want to marry within her faith and you might have an impossible task in trying to convert her. If you don’t mind your children not being Jewish, I believe the Catholic Church offers dispensations so you can marry a Catholic girl in church.
      Buona fortuna and you will let us know, won’t you?

      • Campo

        I loved reading this article/blog. It’s still getting comments after 3 years! I was born in Australia to Italian parents, and grew up speaking Italian, following Italian traditions and exposed to Italian folk. I am not being biased when I say that Italian women are beautiful. Beautiful in every way imaginable. Italian mothers, in particular, have a certain warm, selfless quality about them. Makes me feel proud to be an Italian woman.

      • Thank you for your lovely comment! I am still amazed this post draws so many readers. I went on to terminate this blog over a year ago and have now become a professional blogger on a different site but this post still keeps on giving! And to think that I wrote it quickly, after a party, and never gave it a second thought. Who knew?

  76. Pupa

    Well,wht i wil write here i really dont knw..bt couldnt stop myself either
    i loved your article..

    What i want to write here,that i m madly in love with an Italian girl. I met her through FB

    she rocks my world. She can even make me laugh at my worst

    everything wht u have written in this article,true or not i dont knw..coz i have yet to knw other things abt her

    Now my qn is she talks with me.. Yeah romantic kind of things..
    But she somtyms dosnt show her emotion..i dont knw why
    somtyms she makes me feel she cares for me,loves me
    bt somtyms c behaves like she dosnt knw me..

    for this i alws get confused..yeah i m a L.
    But 1 thing i want to write here
    c is the most beautiful,intelligent woman i ever met..if i will start writing abt her i will never stop.. :)

    just, i want to knw your suggestion abt this

    lastly thanks for this article :)

  77. Pupa

    Want to write another thing

    i m now fallen in love with Italy.
    Whether i wil ever meet her or not i dont knw.. But i cant forget her or u can say the people of Italy.. C is amazing ,u knw

    Conclusion Italy is beautiful like her..

    • Hi Pupa, thanks for the compliments! Can’t really say why your girl is behaving unpredictably but don’t forget you don’t really “know” her if you haven’t met her yet and can’t judge a person just by her Facebook behavior.
      Regardless of whether you get to meet her not, you will not regret having taken an interest in Italy. Hope you get to go one day – you will love it!

  78. GippslandAmore

    I would like to add a bit here to your reply to Pupa, this woman is probably being reserved, just seeing how things are eventuating between you both, we can be like this at times, and more often than not, it is perceived and taken as we are not emotional or that we are snobbish(oh I dont like people assuming things about us)
    Anyway, I would just keep going with conversation, go out on dates….enjoy your new adventure
    If it is meant to be, then it will prosper :-)

  79. Pupa

    Thank you :)

    but i want to say she is not reserve.. Just i dont knw wht her problem
    anyway,i m enjoying my time with her.. Hoping d same for next day and so on

    bt i hav to agree she is amazing..really
    i hav never fallen this badly for any1 in past..

    It’s really a nice place to express my feelings… Again thanks for responding me :D

  80. ale

    ‘Italian women would never wish to be anything else other than Italian’ that is not really true!!! not at all… I am Italian and I should like to be of another country

  81. Dennis

    Italian women are very compassionate very giving and very crazy. They love to cook eat in the love romance. Their heart players and hard lovers. The most honest and caring type of woman.

  82. Mukasa Moses

    I have read about Italian women, they’re the most to love in the world I pray to get one!

  83. Danielle Alfieri

    If they are anything like my mother, who is 1/4 Italian, forget it. They may be beautiful on the outside, but its what in the inside that really matters. Beauty is only skin deep, the real beauty comes from within. Doesn’t matter where in the world woman come from, they all want certain things from the men they want to attached themselves too. A man, who is honest, sincere, and loving. Someone who can be respected and do everything for their women. They want a man who is strong in his conviction and will stand on his own two feet, and at the same time show kindness to the people around him.

  84. I love Italian girls they’re so amazing to be true <3 I hope I can get one <3
    it would be a dream come true :3

  85. I’ve had a facebook friend and she’s an Italian .. I can say that her beauty is an immaculate one, she’s funny and pretty :D I’m thinking about how to impress an Italian woman. anyone can give me an advice or tips please :D :)

  86. Hi all, Thank you very much for the nice article, i have read as much as i can from all the comments above, I got a problem with my gf she is Italian, as i noticed they do talk load and scream most of the time, its a bit annoying but i got to live with it and accept it, The problem am having is that i never seen a girl say no to every thing a man likes and never talks to me at all the only words i hear from here is where are you? and what you doing and good morning, other then that nothing, now i don’t know if this is normal or something creepy going on there. i tried making a conversation with her she never talks, its like am a radio and that’s it. last couple of month is becoming worth and worth. the second thing is that i please her in every way she want and do what ever you like help her take her out i mean do every thing she want as a slave, reason am saying slave is because i feel like a slave to her, i know its a bad feeling but its the truth.

    Now the third thing is i come to see her always last couple of month i asked her why don’t you come to my place she said i don’t want, i don’t understand it why in the world a girl doesn’t want to come to her bf place. she never been to my place we been together for 1 year now. am always staying at her place most of the time. and there are more things but i just ignore many thing silly thing which means nothing a man should be treat in a nice way sweet words from his gf, but my gf is doesn’t say nothings i mean nothing at all am the one who keep saying sweet words and making her feel good and happy, when i asked her last month why don’t you treat me in a nice way make me happy, her answer was am making you happy but i don’t feel like talking about this crap. lol i didn’t say any thing after that.

    ill be 32 in 6 days, am hopping she remembers my birthday lol
    any suggestions or advice before i leave her as its really hurting me more and more every day.

    Many thanks
    W

  87. What you describe is not necessarily typical of Italian women but it’s the behaviour of a selfish partner, one who could be from anywhere. If all you get out the relationship is unhappiness, why do you stay? What are the things that make you happy, that bind you together? Maybe you were just upset and took the occasion to vent – quite understandable – but my suggestion would be to look at your relationship and what makes it work.
    I hope she will open up to your desire to talk – funny, it’s usually women who want to talk and men who clam up. Does she know what gem she has on her hands?? Good luck!

  88. Caterina

    I loved everything you listed….some even made me smile as I could really relate. It makes me really sad as a Calabrese living in Australia some people think I’m weird trying to preserve our values, customs and traditions. They call them barbaric and stupid and what I strongly believe in is very old fashion. I was recently told (rudely reminded) that we are in the 21st century and that people don’t think that way anymore. It hurts me when they say that because they belittle everything I grew up with and strongly believe in…..even to the point of them telling me how to bring up my kids! I think its very important to pass on traditions, customs and values to our kids so it doesn’t get lost and can be carried on to the next generation. I’m finding it very challenging with all this social media, different views and one sided mind people to continue but I’m going to do my best and never give up!
    Many thanks
    Caterina x

  89. Jarod

    Great piece. A beautiful Italian lady I recently met asked if I can come visit her in Italy. I am very much looking forward to that, no matter where it ends up. I love the passion of the Italian women and off course the great Italian food.

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