GHOSTS IN THE ROYAL MACHINE

Royal Wedding mania must be in full swing on the other side of the pond if even the New York Times, albeit buried in the wedding announcements pages, reported that, amongst the guests at the event of the year, there will be some of William and Kate’s former flames. Why I scan the wedding announcements pages is a mystery even to me – I am intrigued by the photos of future couples for life, half of whom will end up going their separate ways before celebrating their 10th anniversary. But they don’t know yet and they are still smiling.

Never a big advocate of marriage or, at least, always immensely annoyed by women who make it their life mission, I will confess that, despite all my feminist rantings and my independence ravings, I am considering getting up at 4 am to watch the Royal Wedding as it unfolds, live, in all its predictable photo-op pomp. I admit to a weakness for English Royal Families, the shenanigans of whom I have been reading for years, starting with books about  Tudor England. I can name all the descendants of Henry VIII’s progeny for no other reason than a perverse personal pleasure. What can I say? Incongruities make life more interesting.

I wish William and Kate a better luck than his parents had. I am actually old enough to have watched William’s mother’s own doomed fairy tale live on tv (mercifully I was living in the same time zone). It must be all those Princess fairy tales that years of independence and self-sufficiency haven’t eradicated from the bottom of my (occasionally) romantic heart.

The NY Times article was questioning the merits of keeping one’s exes close at hand, even inviting them at one’s wedding. Well, not many of us arrive at the altar (if we arrive at all) untouched and unused. We marry later and later, we break up with an ease previously unheard of, so there are bounds to be some significant others who can still enrich a person’s life. I am often criticized for still being close, or at least in touch, with men who mattered – my theory is that whatever I fell in love to begin with hasn’t disappeared in the acrimony and the name calling of the split. Once the dust has settled, the heart is healed and the need for revenge dissipated as the case may be, why not enjoy all that is good and compatible for a long time to come?

My theory also goes that my partner needs to be accepting of my past (settle down, not EVERYTHING is revealed) and  self-assured enough of himself and my love. Is it unfair to ask? The majority of people I know disagrees with my neat little theory which, come to think of it, would negatively affect my personal dating pool if I were indeed dating.

Apparently, William and Kate agree with me. Or else they are simply following behavioural rules that only apply to a certain upper stratum of British society,  which, in itself, is a breed in extinction. But I found one more reason to justify setting that alarm clock. Now all I need is a like-minded girlfriend willing to sleep over and party on the couch with me. At 4 am.

 

 

 

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3 Comments

Filed under Royal Wedding, women's issues

3 responses to “GHOSTS IN THE ROYAL MACHINE

  1. sue

    As I get older I have come to believe that acknowledging change, decisions and human milestones of any kind with some sort of ceremony is important. Whether it be the birthday party for a child or an older person, the achieving of a month of sobriety, the moving on after sadness … all these things deserve their own little cosmic marker – s signpost in a life. I see how much it means to my nieces and nephews – how much they relish an occasion and ‘being included’. How they look forward to, anticipate, plan – and then thoroughly enjoy. No part of that could possibly be bad.
    Marriage – for me the person – has never seemed attractive – I am sure a psychologist could find myriad reasons for this – most of them undoubtedly rooted in fear. But the thought of this wedding brings tears to my eyes – because somewhere deep in my heart, I can sense a new architecture of family and feel the movement of the rebirth of decency.
    There’s also the truth that these two people love each other. They will have children and unite two families in a future where everything is possible.
    So, it’s also the rebirth of hope.
    Who cares what it costs – money will be made. People will be paid to work,
    airlines will sell tickets and hotels will sell rooms, taxis, trains and busses will be full. People will shop, eat, drink, travel and visit. Neighbours will throw parties, host receptions, watch TV together. This marriage will join an extended family. Be a global celebration. One we all sorely need.
    I wish I could be with you. I’d get up at 4am and help make the coffee. I’d even buy some souvenir pajamas to mark the occasion.

  2. silvia

    you see, this is one of the reasons why if you lived closer we could do this together and much more, more often. That’s something I’ll keep on moaning and moaning and moaning about…..
    Anyway, eventhough I fully agree that we’re all Cindarellas at heart (how many times we’ve seen it when we were kids or even grown ups?), you know you’ll never convince me with the theory that not everything needs to be revealed to your partner on your past!!!

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