What was I just saying about the kooks who populate LA? The character in this post is not so much a kook as a male specimen better left uncategorized. His image has been swimming around my brain for the last 48 hours, so much so I had to unload it on you.
Standing in line at a check out counter is possibly one of my least favourite human activities. I am too polite to leaf through dumb magazines I know I will not buy (unless I am at a certain shopping mall in Cape Town) or to initiate phone calls/texts that I will not carry on in front of the cashier. Instead, I concentrate on the fauna around me – like airports, shops are full of interesting weirdos.
Take Target on a Monday morning, where I had gone to check out the Missoni limited collection that came out on Saturday, of which only a stained size 10 pair of shoes was left. It looked as if a herd of buffaloes had stampeded through the section so I settled for some adorable looking pajamas at heavily discounted prices. While in the perpetual Target check-out line, I was alerted by a strong whiff of alcohol that somebody who had already been drinking heavily by 11 am was right ahead of me. Clad in black gym shorts and a tank top, my fellow shopper unloaded a wad of underwear on the conveyor belt, amongst which a pair of black briefs with a giant white skull where, presumably, his jewels were going to be, and, in big bold letters PUNISHER printed on the elastic band. For a moment I was inclined to think those were bought as a prank for a friend. My second thought was “Does Target really sell this crap and is there a demand for it?” (the answer being obviously in the affirmative in both cases). Then I looked at this youngish man, at his black wallet covered in skulls, at the chains around his wrist and I couldn’t help picture some poor woman about to have carnal knowledge of this specimen, and how hard she would have had to work at suppressing her laughter and keeping her composure at the sight of the PUNISHER.
Now, please do tell me there are no members of my sex who would ever, under any circumstances, find such apparel attractive. Or am I kidding myself?